


After Their Walk

by TheMuchTooMerryMaiden



Series: The only way that each can help the other [9]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Cuddling and Snuggling, First Kiss, M/M, Reference to prior abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-02
Updated: 2011-11-02
Packaged: 2017-10-25 15:38:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/271952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden/pseuds/TheMuchTooMerryMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After they finally admit their feelings, what happens next</p>
            </blockquote>





	After Their Walk

Neither of them spoke on the drive back to Robbie's flat. The silence was not exactly awkward, more fraught, with a thousand unspoken declarations, suppositions hopes and fears tossed backwards and forwards between them. When they arrived, Robbie broke the silence,

"Let's get you inside and warm shall we?" James smiled at the almost babying tone Robbie was taking, but truth to tell he was having trouble not shivering and would be more than glad to get in, warm and comfortable. He wasn’t sure whether it was the fact that he was still ill which made the whole thing seem so unreal or whether it was just that he had waited so long that he’d almost given up hope, but he needed to know it was all real so when they were both in the flat James turned and held out his arms to Robbie who walked into his embrace as if this was a normal part of their routine, and they stood wrapped in each other's arms, getting used to the feeling of each other. It feels so strange and so right, James puzzled. He would be the first to admit his experience of love was limited and there was much of his experience of sex that he would give almost anything to forget, but he knew that it would take some time to get used to the different feeling of being held by a man who loved him rather than one who just wanted to make use of him. Once James had thought that he realised that he’d never told Robbie that he loved him; he knew that it was obvious but he hadn't said it. He pulled away slightly so that he could look into Robbie's face and corrected Robbie's assumption that he wanted the embrace to end,

"No," he said, "don't let me go."

"I'll never let you go unless you want me to."

"You'll be stuck with me forever then!" James smiled, leaning forward until their forehead's were touching, "You know I love you, don't you?" he continued, and sighed as Robbie tightened his grip,

"Oh, my bonny lad," Robbie murmured his voice deeper and warmer than usual ,and gently kissed James' forehead, "I know ," and then he pulled away slightly before moving in and kissing James on the lips. It was a slow gentle kiss, just lips at first before Robbie slightly opened his mouth and delicately traced James' lips with his tongue. James shuddered, but before Robbie could wonder if James was uncomfortable with this, James was holding him more tightly and shyly opening his mouth to allow Robbie's tongue full entry.

They stayed wrapped up in each other for some time exploring, tasting and touching until at last they broke apart, going back to resting their foreheads on one another, breathing deeply. "I've wanted to do that for so long." Robbie breathed, "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I can't work out what I've done to deserve you."

"That's easy," James smiled, "you've been you, kind and gentle and brave."

"Brave!" Robbie laughed.

James wondered nervously whether Robbie would lead him into the bedroom and how he would respond if he did; it was all a bit overwhelming and he still wasn't sure if his fearfulness would prevent him from responding in the way he would want to. It was a relief when instead they stopped in the living room.

"Do you want a brew?" Robbie asked,

"Yes, thank you" James replied, hoping that Robbie would know that it was more than tea he was thanking him for, probably he would.

When Robbie came back with two mugs of tea he sat down next to James, closer than he would normally do but at a distance which was meant not to overwhelm the younger man. James appreciated the thought and then found himself wondering how Robbie was feeling about being close to him. After all James had had years to get used to the idea, but while he wouldn’t allow himself to doubt the sincerity of Robbie’s feelings he worried that it would all be too overwhelming for him.

“Well, pet,” Robbie interrupted his somewhat circular thoughts, “how are you feeling?”

“Fine!” James replied, “Don’t think the trip out will turn out to have killed me,” Robbie interrupted,

“No, I mean how are you feeling about all this?” he said, indicating what he meant by putting his arm around the younger man. James replied in a similarly non-verbal manner by snuggling closer up to Robbie and leaning in to put his head on Robbie’s shoulder. He paused for a long time before he replied in a more verbal way,

“Happy, elated even, nervous, scared, worried that I’ll do something wrong, I could carry on, how long have you got?”

“So, about par for the course for a new relationship, then?”

“Yeah, pretty much, I guess.”

“I don’t know how you want to play this, do you?” There was a long pause during which they both drank their tea before James sat up slightly so that he could see Robbie’s face,

“Slowly. I know you worked out years ago I’ve had some ... bad experiences ... and I’m really not sure how I’m going to deal with the physical side of things ...” Robbie interrupted him.

“Not to worry, this is about love, not sex, we can go as slowly as you want.” Robbie drained the last of his tea and turned slightly to look at James, “You know you can tell me about anything, don’t you? I’m not going to pressure you into any confidences, whenever, if ever, you feel you want to tell me what happened, I’ll be here to listen.”

James put his head back down on Robbie’s shoulder before he replied,

“Thanks.”

The rest of the day passed quietly, James dozed through a good proportion of it, before rousing himself to cook supper, this time with Robbie in a supervisory role for a change. As the evening wore on both men became more and more nervous, while they both tried very hard not to show it. By ten o’clock James was only narrowly managing to stay awake, like a young child, up past his bedtime and trying not to show how tired he was for fear of someone noticing and sending him to bed. In the end James’ sense of the ridiculous saved him and he sat up with a grin,

“You could cut the atmosphere in here with a knife. I’m going to bed and I think you should too. I’m sure we can share a bed without being overcome by our mutual lust. Seriously, I’m nowhere near ready to deal with...” he paused and Robbie found himself thinking, _So help me if he uses the phrase rumpy-pumpy, I’ll kill him,_ “... but I want you with me if that’s not too difficult for you.”

“It won’t be, James, you just need to tell me what you want.”

“It's not quite as simple as what I want, is it? It's not all about me.”

“It is as far as I'm concerned,” Robbie said cheerfully

“No, no, that won't work if there's no give and take then this won't last and more than anything I want this to last. So I ask again: What do you want?”

A dozen fugitive images slipped through Robbie's mind, his lips on James, James’ hands on him, James making him writhe and call out, opening him up, filling him up. The flush he felt on his skin had nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with desire, he wanted James to take him, but most of all he wanted James to be happy and comfortable with himself.

“I’m sorry James, but really what I want is for you to be as happy and comfortable with this as I am, and that’s only going to happen if we let you set the pace.”

“I suppose so, for a while,” James smiled and then continued, “then for tonight I want to kiss you,” he said moving over to Robbie and suiting the action to the words, “and then,” he said breathlessly, “I want to sleep in your arms.”

Robbie kissed him again before breaking into a smile,

“Sounds like a plan!” he replied.


End file.
